When I first became a school leader, one of the first realities I had to confront was email volume. Not a handful of messages but sometimes dozens before 8 a.m., sometimes hundreds by day’s end. Staying on top of it required strategies, routines, and discipline as I had to learn how to triage, delegate, and protect attention so the inbox did not become my only job.
But even so, I never assumed silence was the answer. Not every email deserves a long reply, and some do not deserve any. Still, for legitimate questions tied to work, decisions, and people, I’ve always tried to respond because email is often how others experience your leadership when they cannot access you in the moment.
‘Digital Snubbery’
I hear from my educational leadership students all the time that their school leaders do not answer emails. Messages go unanswered for days or weeks, sometimes indefinitely.
This may sting for some readers, but that is not acceptable. Not because leaders should be available 24/7, and not because instant replies are the standard. It is unacceptable because sustained non-response communicates something, whether you intend it or not.
Adam Grant has called this “digital snubbery,” the online equivalent of walking past someone who waved at you. His point is not that every email is urgent. It is that silence of a non-response that is interpreted. And in schools, interpretation becomes culture.
What makes this especially tricky in schools is the power dynamic. When a leader does not respond, the silence carries more weight than when a peer does. People hesitate to follow up because they do not want to appear needy, impatient, or out of line, and wait longer than they should, even second-guessing themselves. In some cases, they stop asking altogether.
This lack of communication creates blind spots for leaders. The very people closest to the work begin to go quiet because experience has taught them not to expect a response. Over time, this weakens feedback loops and slows organizational learning.
Some consequences are obvious: Work slows, decisions stall, and people follow up repeatedly or escalate issues that did not need escalation. Non-response also erodes trust, discourages initiative, and can delay a problem until it is bigger, messier, and harder to solve. Over time, people start working around you instead of with you. That should worry any leader who values coherence, collaboration, and shared ownership.
Not Time Management, But A Disposition Problem
Perfection is not the point here, nor is inbox zero the target. The goal is a mindset shift: email is not just administrative or technical, it is part of your leadership presence. You can and should have boundaries, but these must be communicated.
It is also worth naming the emotional labor involved in email. Many messages carry frustration, urgency, or disappointment, so avoidance is sometimes less about time and more about discomfort.
Leadership often requires engaging with discomfort early, when issues are still manageable. Delayed responses allow tension to grow and misunderstandings to harden, so a short acknowledgment can de-escalate more effectively than a perfectly crafted response sent too late.
Sometimes this is not just a personal habit, it is structural. If a leader is hard to reach by phone, unavailable on video, and inconsistent in person, then email becomes the only door. When that door stays closed, leadership becomes something people cannot access, only assume.
If you want a staff that takes initiative, raises concerns early, and brings you solutions, you can’t train them – explicitly or implicitly – to expect no response.
5 Practical Ways To Handle Email Without Breaking Trust
- Schedule response time and put it on your calendar. If it matters, it gets scheduled. Two short blocks a day can produce meaningful changes.
- Set up folders and prioritize on purpose. Keep it simple. Examples: Urgent Today, This Week, Waiting On, Read Later. The goal is not a perfect system. The goal is not losing important messages.
- Acknowledge quickly, then follow through. “Received. I’ll get back to you by Thursday.” Then actually do. Trust is built in the follow-up.
- Use AI to draft non-sensitive, non-confidential correspondence. Let AI create a first draft for routine updates, confirmations, next steps, scheduling, thank-yous. Add your personal touch, correct tone, and keep confidential content out of the prompt.
- Create a routing plan so you are not the bottleneck. Some messages should go to a point person or team. Proper routing is not avoidance, it is clarity.
Responsiveness is not about replying to everything instantly. It is about accountability. Whatever system you choose, protect your time, but do not disappear. Email silence may not be a visible leadership trait, but it is felt – and it shows up as trust, or the loss of it.