Dear We Are Teachers,
When I returned from spring break, I was surprised to find a “see me in my office immediately” email from my principal. He explained that he thought my “out of office” email was “inappropriate, unprofessional, and sent a negative message to our school community.” Here’s what it said: “It’s spring break—hooray! We made it! I’ll respond to your message when school resumes on April 21.” I don’t get it. Should I have pretended I prefer to stay at school over break?
—Breaking Down the Message
Dear B.D.T.M.,
I think it’s perfectly natural to want a break, and I think it would be unfair to make teachers pretend they wish they didn’t get a break. Teachers and students both benefit from time to recharge. If that is the reason why your principal felt the message was “unprofessional”—that you should pretend you don’t want a break—I would respectfully disagree. The response to your message sounds a little harsh.
I’m curious to know, though, if your principal shared the reasons why they thought it was an unprofessional message. If they didn’t explain, revisit it to understand professional expectations (and if you agree with them).
That said, I would soften the out-of-office message. This change isn’t because I think you were ill-intended or unprofessional, but to protect your energy. While the intent is to understandably celebrate getting a break, I could see someone saying your message implies time with students is a hardship you “make it through.” Was that your intention? Of course not. But to simply avoid this conversation, I would use more neutral language. I forever support the belief that teachers deserve to enjoy their breaks, but this isn’t the discussion I would use to debate that point. Anyone who thinks teachers don’t deserve to enjoy breaks likely won’t be swayed in an emotion-centered argument about email language.
More importantly, though, remember not everyone looks forward to breaks. For some families, there are many reasons why their break may not be what we hope or expect. For some students, school is stable, and breaks mean instability. School may actually be one of the few places where they can get a reprieve from other things happening in their lives. Breaks can also mean heightened awareness about the lack of resources some families have. Unfortunately, in our current society, rest and rejuvenation are often a luxury that some people cannot afford, and school breaks are a reminder of that gap. Assuming everyone is excited for spring break may inadvertently hurt students.
You have every right to enjoy your break and to share the wonderful things you may have done. It might just be easier to save that joy for your students, with whom you have a relationship and who understand your intent, rather than open yourself up to debates that may not actually lead to valuable outcomes. Good luck, and I believe in you!
Dear We Are Teachers,
I’m looking for some honest feedback on how I handled a situation on a field trip. I’m a kindergarten teacher and recently took my class to a local farm. Each student had a parent or grandparent with them. The kids were mostly fine, but the adults kept chatting with their children during the presentation, making it hard to keep everyone focused. I gave some general reminders to listen (“Let’s listen” and “Shhh”), but I didn’t feel comfortable calling out the adults directly. I’m in my sixth year of teaching, but many of the family members were older than I am. Should I have addressed it more directly, or is it fair to expect chaperones to model good listening?
—Parents Should Listen Too
Dear P.S.L.T.,
Oh, this is a tough question. I definitely understand your hesitation to say something. Saying something to other adults, especially when they’re older than you, can be hard, and many of us were taught to respect our elders. I totally get why you did what you did.
That said, you are not only the adult in the room for your students but also the main point of contact for the field trip. In the future, I would empower you to quietly, gently, and lovingly redirect the adults. I would set expectations on the permission slip and any preparation messaging you send. I would also state expectations before you get on the bus or once you arrive.
The tone should be very positive. Remind families that “the expectation is that we’re good listeners! Please listen when our hosts are speaking. Please save questions and thoughts for another time.” This isn’t meant to be a scolding, but just a gentle reminder, and you can model how you support students in your classroom.
If families still talk, I’d walk over very quietly to whoever is speaking and whisper something like, “Hi! So sorry, we just want all the students to be able to hear.” If they keep pushing, maybe mention again, “Hi! Let’s save conversations for later.” If it continues, I’d ask if they want to step outside to talk with their students.
Of course, this is all for the future. For the field trip that already happened, it’s probably not worth following up with families. If you’re worried about your relationship with the farm, you could reach out, thank them for their time, and briefly apologize for the chatter. I wouldn’t be shocked, though, if they didn’t notice. People who provide hands-on activities to groups frequently deal with chatty folks. That said, I’m sure that they’ll appreciate you naming what you saw. You can also share that you’re comfortable with whoever works with your group in the future to ask folks to listen directly as well. When the reminder comes from someone else, it can sometimes be more impactful.
Overall, you’re doing great. This situation was a bit of a challenge, but you got through it, and I’m sure your students still had a fantastic time. You’re doing great, and I believe in you!
Dear We Are Teachers,
I am so fed up with phones in the classroom. I teach high school, and I feel like I am always fighting for attention and against the attitude that comes along when I ask my students to put it away. I have always been opposed to taking students’ phones, but silent and away is no longer working for me. Should I make students turn in their phones at the beginning of class?
—Get Off the Phone!
Dear G.O.T.P.,
As a former middle school and now high school teacher, I just want to validate that this challenge is so real. Phone addiction is rough. I personally struggle with putting my phone down, so I can empathize with my students a bit when they struggle.
There’s a lot of research and discussion around banning phones or collecting them at the start of class. My school recently had a “Phone-Free Academic Space” policy, which has been working well for us. I have noticed improved student behavior.
That said, I recommend that you check in with your administration and/or department before trying to collect phones. Before shifting the policy, you’ll want to make sure you have some administrative support and, hopefully, other teachers also get on board. The main reason is that it’s not only students but also families who want phones with students. Sometimes, they’re even the ones messaging them during class. Some families are, understandably, worried about student safety (a sad reality of the world we live in), but others are just giving them information.
So, you’ll want to have some administrative backing in case you have families who push back. I’d also ask them if you should contact families beforehand to let them know about the policy.
If you want to convince your administration to ban phones, there are some great resources with perspectives from other principals here, here, and here. Beyond admin support, you could also reset some boundaries and work with students on creating phone policies. This piece and this piece have some great strategies for resetting boundaries. Many students know phones are distracting. Engaging them to find ways to move through it can be important for everyone.
One strategy that I really like is setting up a charging station for students. I got a big power strip and some cheap chargers and told students they are welcome to charge their devices during class if they turn in their devices for the period. I have had several students very willingly turn in their phones so they could charge them.
Like I said, this challenge is real and something most teachers are struggling with. Good luck, and I believe in you!
Do you have a burning question? Email us at askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.
Dear We Are Teachers,
I’m in my third year of teaching 4th grade and at a new school this year. After my first walk-through, my AP said he thought I was a little too rigid with students and to loosen up a bit. I think he was probably right—my last school was very different—so I relaxed my expectations a bit. Well, after this last observation, he said I was too concerned with my students “liking” me and that they were walking all over me. I don’t get it! He says I should strike a balance between being firm and kind, but how?
—Finding the Balance