Dear We Are Teachers,
I’m due at the end of June (in about two weeks!) with my first child, around the time school lets out. HR explained to me months ago that I could opt to take my maternity leave at the beginning of the fall semester, which would give me the whole summer off plus my maternity leave, so a total of about five months—awesome! This week, my principal came by my room asking me to consider taking off the rest of this year instead of doing my maternity leave in the fall. She said the worst time to miss is the first few months of school. Is she right? Should I reconsider?
—Taking Time for Baby
Dear T.T.F.B.,
Let me start with the good part: Congratulations! You seem stoked, so I am stoked for you!
*deep breath* Now, let’s move on to your question, which made my heart rate spike.
No, you should not reconsider because of your principal. It actually doesn’t matter whether or not your principal is “right” about it being the “worst time to leave.” What’s worse is being back in the classroom full of regret and resentment because you’d rather be with your baby.
Also, the “worst” time to leave is highly subjective. You could also say that leaving the classroom earlier than planned means you can’t wrap up with students, and you’d have to create plans (and set grading norms) for a substitute to jump into an established class culture while very pregnant. It’s all dependent on the person.
I actually took the fall semester off with both of my children, and it was awesome. Here’s an honest realization I had about missing the beginning of the school year: It didn’t matter if it was more challenging. I couldn’t change when my baby was due. Yes, I love my job and my students, but I am not ashamed to say that I love my children more. I also care more about my ability to return to the classroom prepared, which is a luxury that, sadly, not everyone has.
So, even if it was “harder” to jump back in, I didn’t care. I cared more about spending time with my kids and having a healthy postpartum experience. It was worth the challenge of returning midyear.
Take the time. Please. Take all the time you want. You only get to have this experience with this little friend once. I’m not saying it will always be easy. In fact, it will often be messy, challenging, and exhausting. The newborn days with my kids were some of the hardest I’ve ever experienced. But I do not regret one millisecond I spent out of my classroom and with my children.
Now, please know that I mean you should do what YOU feel is best for YOUR postpartum experience. For many people—myself included!—returning to work can also be a healthy way to reestablish yourself outside of parenthood. I love my kids, but I also love the work I do away from them. And I feel so grateful I have caregivers whom I trust and love dearly, so I can also have a career I adore.
But you should do that on your terms, not because someone is pressuring you to do something else. Tell your principal you’re going to do what’s best for your family, and don’t offer further explanation. Even if they’re well intended—perhaps they found it hard to return midyear and are hoping to spare you that frustration—it’s not worth the discussion. Drawing boundaries as a working parent is an essential skill that you can begin practicing now.
Best of luck! I am sending you and your incoming little friend so much love, care, and joy!
Dear We Are Teachers,
I just got a job as a 1st grade teacher at a private school, and while I’m really excited, I’m also overwhelmed. I’ll be teaching a math and reading curriculum that is brand-new to me. I’ve never taught my own curriculum since I previously had a co-teacher. I want to use the summer to get familiar with the curriculum and feel prepared, but I’m nervous about burning out or doing too much too fast. Any tips for learning a new curriculum without getting overwhelmed, and how to prep smart without overloading myself?
—Prep Without Panic
Dear P.W.P.,
Congratulations on the new job! This role sounds like an exciting next step in your career, and you should be proud of yourself.
I really appreciate your willingness to think ahead and consider not just what to prepare but also how to prepare. This metacognitive reflection will serve you well!
In that spirit, I want you to think about how you typically like to prepare for something or complete an assignment. Some people like to start early and do a little at a time. Some want to set aside a large chunk of time, like a week, and really dig deep over that short time. Think about which method will best support you, and then start setting that time aside so you can plan in a way that works for you. You could set aside a few hours a week over the summer, or you could set aside a week or two to really dig deep. Both are great options—it just depends on what you like.
I’d also reach out to your administration, grade-level or department chair, or fellow teacher in your grade level. Is there any professional development you can attend or engage in? Does the curriculum offer webinars or coaching sessions you can use? Preparing a new curriculum is always a challenge, but doing so with someone who really knows it can help make the process more efficient.
The biggest piece of advice, though, is to give yourself grace. You don’t have to have everything completely figured out by the time you start the school year. Every teacher, both veteran and new, has to plan a little on the fly and adapt as we go. It’s part of the job. So, get yourself to a place where you feel stable and confident, but know that many of us also have to learn as we go as well.
Good luck, and I believe in you!
Dear We Are Teachers,
I’m a former high school teacher now working as a district academic coach. A teacher I trust recently told me that a more senior colleague was making fun of my personal appearance during a PD session I was helping lead—nothing about my work, just petty stuff. I’m not super upset, but this teacher has a pattern of inappropriate (sometimes discriminatory) comments, and I’m wondering if I have a responsibility to report it to HR or my boss to get it on record. The tricky part is that our department is small and gossipy, and I worry it could blow back on the person who confided in me. Do I speak up now to protect others in the future, or wait and support quietly if it becomes a bigger issue?
—Trying To Coach With Class
Dear T.T.C.W.C.,
What a frustrating position you find yourself in. While you’re not particularly upset, I just want to validate that, if true, this sort of behavior isn’t acceptable. It’s petty and unprofessional.
The struggle, right now, is that what this teacher said is currently hearsay. Even if they have a record of it, you didn’t hear it yourself, which makes it tougher to report. If you do hear them say it in the future, I would both let the teacher know that sort of behavior isn’t OK and tell your administrator. Like I said, that behavior is not OK.
Right now, though, I’d consider mentioning it more casually to an administrator. You could either mention that you’ve heard of “a teacher or two” or, if you feel comfortable, name the teacher, that have/has been talking about other teachers behind their backs. I would make it clear, though, that it’s hearsay. The reason for reporting, at this point, isn’t necessarily to get that teacher in trouble (we don’t know for sure what was said) but rather to name a culture issue that’s going on. The fact that other teachers are talking about what this teacher does is worth noting.
Beyond that, though, I’d continue to try to stay classy. Remain professional and positive (but maybe a little distant) with the alleged offending teacher. Their actions are a reflection on them, not on you.
Good luck, and I believe in you!
Do you have a burning question? Email us at askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.
Dear We Are Teachers,
For three years now, I’ve asked my principal to move back to 5th grade, my preferred level to teach. Last year, he promised that next year (2025-26), he would put me back in 5th grade. I almost raged last week when he said that it was “best for the kids” if I kept teaching 1st grade. I feel like he’s exploiting my kindness and willingness to help out, and I’m so annoyed that I was strung along for another year. Should I start looking for another school now, or give him one year (with a very clear expectation for what I want)?
—Sadly Strung Along