Nearly one in three Australian workers — over four million people — report having a mental health condition lasting at least six months. Eighty-one per cent fear they could burn out in the next year.
Graeme Cowan knows these aren’t just statistics, because he’s lived this — and what he learned on the other side changed everything he knew about leadership.
When the mask stops working
In early 2000, Cowan was Vice President at Kearney, co-leading their executive search division. Business was strong — until the tech crash hit in March 2000 and almost overnight, the company’s pipeline evaporated.
“As a leader, I felt I had to stay positive,” Cowan told The Educator. “I kept searching for solutions while the stress quietly accumulated.”
Cowan said he stopped sleeping properly, waking at 4am feeling hopeless.
“My energy collapsed, but I kept putting on a brave face for the team, pretending everything was fine. It was exhausting.”
Then, in rapid succession, he lost his job, his marriage fell apart, he became estranged from his children, and he moved back in with his parents.
“What followed was the darkest episode of depression in my life — my fifth — and one morning when my parents were away, I attempted to take my own life,” he said. “I woke in intensive care. My parents, siblings and children were around my bed.”
After time in a psychiatric hospital, Cowan returned home still feeling largely hopeless.
“One day, standing in the kitchen repeating ‘Why me? Why me?’, my mother looked me in the eye and said: ‘I believe you’ll use this experience to help other people,’” he said.
“I didn’t believe her. But her words planted a seed.”
What recovery taught Graeme about performance
In therapy, Cowan’s psychiatrist asked him to rate his mood regularly. When he pushed back — ‘Haven’t I got a clinical illness?’ — the psychiatrist acknowledged Cowan’s history but insisted mood management was possible.
“That insight led me to develop the ‘moodometer’: a simple tool for identifying which mood ‘zone’ you and your team are in,” he said. “Green zone — optimistic, energetic, resourceful. Red zone — angry, depleted, ashamed.”
Cowan said recovery came through “small, consistent changes” — walking 15 minutes a day, reconnecting with people even when he didn’t feel like it.
“Every time I did, I felt better,” he said. “I was reminded of something fundamental: the power of connection, belonging, and feeling safe with others.”
Research by Shawn Achor, author of The Happiness Advantage, found that people in a positive mood are 31% more productive, 37% better at sales, and 200% more creative.
“It’s not a soft metric,” Cowan said. “It’s a competitive advantage.”
Self-care isn’t selfish — it’s a keystone mindset
Cowan said his own self-care journey has taught him that “if you don’t put fuel in your own tank, you have nothing to give your team.”
“It’s far easier to stay in the green zone than drag yourself out of the red,” he said.
“My recovery led me to write Back from the Brink, which connected me with Gavin Larkin, founder of R U OK?.”
In November 2009, Cowan helped launch R U OK? Day in Parliament House. What started with a simple belief — ‘a conversation could change a life’ — is now a national movement.
“Movements don’t require massive resources,” he said. “They require genuine care and the courage to start conversations that matter.”
The three pillars of great leadership care
Cowan said the most effective leadership strategy isn’t rescuing people from crisis — it’s preventing crisis in the first place.
“Think of it like maintaining good health rather than recovering from a heart attack,” he said. “After years of research and lived experience, I’ve identified three interconnected pillars.”
Self-care: Building your own energy and resilience so you lead from strength, not desperation — because when you’re running on empty, you have nothing to give.
Crew care: Creating belonging and psychological safety in your team. This isn’t about being soft — it’s the #1 predictor for innovative and high performance. Employees who feel supported are twice as likely to work in sustainable environments.
Red-zone care: Knowing how to identify and support struggling team members — without burning out yourself or becoming their therapist.
“Together, these pillars build sustainable success: higher retention, better performance, and healthier cultures,” Cowan said.
Caring is the strongest competitive advantage you can build
Looking back, Cowan said his mother was right.
“What felt like the end turned out to be the beginning,” he said. “Five years of depression taught me that vulnerability isn’t weakness — it’s the starting point for genuine connection. And genuine connection is what great leadership is built on.”
Cowan said the leaders who will thrive in the decade ahead won’t be those who push hardest.
“They’ll be those who care most — for their teams, and for themselves.”
Graeme Cowan is a leading conference speaker, a founding director of R U OK?, and host of The Caring CEO podcast. His new book GREAT LEADERS CARE: Developing safe, resilient and successful teams (Wiley, April 2026) is the first book that prevents both the leader and their team from burning out.